Stella’s 11-year-old daughter has failed an important math test.
Stella’s reaction before doing IFS therapy
Stella’s reaction after a couple of months IFS therapy
Stella criticizes her daughter and punishes her by limitations of screen time and going out with friends.
Stella’s reaction after a couple of months IFS therapy
What’s happening inside Stella?
After hearing the news of her daughter’s failed a math test, Stella felt tightness in her tummy and chest.
Recognizing that her vulnerable part is activated. Stella spends some time with it and understands its beliefs:
If my daughter has failed a math test,
I have failed as a parent.
I’m not a good parent.
Stella’s vulnerable part feels heard and understood by her.
Then Stella said to her vulnerable part:
My daughter is not responsible for my feelings.
This is happening inside Stella.
What’s happening outside?
Stella criticizes her daughter and punishes her by limitations of screen time and going out with friends.
Stella asks her daughter: What help do you need in order to deal with math issue?
